Hello, Cruel World

I'm fixin’ to tell you something about being Texan. Texan doesn’t mean that I’m not educated. I may say “ain’t” and “y’all” and call you “Sweetie” or “Honey” and I might “bless a lot of hearts” and I might even “piddle around”. I’ll greet you with a big “Howdy” or “Hey Y’all”. All soda pop is “Coke”, unless it's Dr Pepper, and if I ask for “sugar” it means I want a KISS. I’m polite and say “Ma’am…” and “Sir”. And if you hear a Texan say, “Oh, hell no!!” you’d better run.